So, still without a job. Job quest begins today. The plan: apply to the many jobs that I've bookmarked online. Later, adventure out with a list of places to get applications from in town. Anything is better than this. After working for like 7 or 8 years straight, this dry spell just confuses me.
I've got several new projects to take up some time. Introducing a dog into a house with cats. And relearning how to crochet so I can make a lot of sweet thermal layers for winter. I might also open my own sweat shop that includes just me.
And finally, figure out how to write comedy. I was in really terrible places emotionally when I've wrote the things that I have. With heartache comes laughter? My brain doesn't work like normal. Or many it's my defense mechanism to crack jokes (and not good ones... most of the time) at things that I don't understand, or are troubling. It makes it look like I don't get bothered by anything. I'll let you in on a secret. It does. Bother me that is. The way to tell is isolation. The more I attempt to be by myself, probably the more I am having a problem.
As it turns out, all my stories that would be comedy (because they fail at that) are also sad. Because what's more painful than being sad? Laughing when you don't want to. Maybe. Or is that not right? Maybe I just flirt with melodrama and laugh it off. Whatever it is I'm not breaking any barriers. I'm just helping establish the nerd heartache and the crushing defeat always around the next corner and cracking jokes to cover up the pain. Not sad enough? Still feeling good about yourself? Well try reading the story by Lorrie Moore with the baby that has cancer. Actually, I'm currently reading that. Puzzle pieces start to fit now.
Too many things on your mind, fleshling,
LQ
Friday, August 13, 2010
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