The day of reckoning has come and passed and nothing special happened. I'm still in my room and still doing required reading. Progress on my story. I've figured out what exactly I want to write about. Now I will just have to reach deep down in me and rip it out. And maybe redo it modeling after someone else's style since the first draft will be bad. Will be tearful. Will be vomit-inducing.
A step is sometimes required when even on an escalator. Maybe people are pushing from behind, or maybe you just need to steady yourself. It's one of those times. It's a step that I want to take. No. It's a step that I already want to have taken, but am stricken mute and immobile. It's a dangerous sort of step. It can be taken too early and sealed your fate like when Captain Hook points that guy out in the crowd to get put in the chest with scorpions. Or is that a different movie? Fuck the life out of me, it's tough to do this. I weigh the options. I know what I'd want to do. But a massive expansion of distance is very likely in the near future. And then I think: not me? Not what I am. I'm no good. This weekend will not be long enough.
Things. and things. and things and things and things and things. You can't feel my tension. I'm not that good in allowing others to see it through my word-vision.
Fuck it, get it over with. I fucking hope your eyes are stuck to this prize. Horrorscope:
The answer to your question will be yes. But, fuck me running, you'll think no is better. Later in the day you'll assume your first choice was better. But who are you to decide anything? Mars is in retrograde, so that means it looks like its going the opposite direction it usually goes. Other than that, it means nothing. Not a single thing. Except that the solar system is sun oriented. Oh, suck it Aristotle. Don't be a prick. A wonderfully crazy homeless man will eat your genitals if you are in a really horrid way. Because just eating your genitals isn't anything special nowadays. I mean with Saw, we've seen just about everything we can.
If I had better things to do than spend time on this would I tell you?
Yes I would.
And I do.
Have better things to do, that is.
Getting sores on my elbows and knees and everywhere from reading so much,
LQ
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Lazy gun messed up my television fun
So planning... it really sucks. Looking for a career and planning to do homework. Ugh. Why is life so hard? Nonsense. I don't really plan for the radio show I do at 11pm on fridays. www.redhawkradio.com. Check it out in a couple of hours. 11pm eastern standard time. Um, New York time. It's fun. I just goof off with someone else. And play music and play games. I'm also planing to do a spring triathlon with a relay team. But life knows how to throw curve balls. In fact, life only throws straight so that you miss the curve ones which are what life is all about. Lastly, I'm planning to put a or some cartoons as other pages on here. Because they are cool and I want to give it a try. But I need to be less busy to do that.
Another weird dream. Chica check it out.
My family was looking at buying a new house. My friend was with me. The only reason that I could imagine that he'd be there was because it was a sweet house. So it was in the mountains. There aren't any mountains around for hundreds of miles. In fact, I've never really seen a mountain before (for reals. Life for reals). But this was way up in the mountains and it was windy and awesome. There are only my parents and two brothers. But strangely I didn't see my parents there in the house at all. Anyways, a family (big family) lived in the house and was looking to sell it. I had all the keys and was looking around. Huge living room and kitchen. There were three bathrooms next to each other. I thought that was weird. And only one was normal. The other two looked like what you'd find in a really fancy locker room. Multiple showers and everything shiny and chrome. I thought that was odd, but shrugged it off and checked out the rooms. They were all upstairs. But first I came upon these really small doors on the steps. Tiny. I unlocked them, but there wasn't anything there so I kept going. The rooms were all pretty cool, smallish, but pretty sweet designed. Each one had a different atmosphere about it. Like my brain came up with specific people with specific personalities to design them. I remember one really well, it had a really small alcove that almost looked like a closet was there except the back wall was only a few inches back. But the kid had made a cd rack to fit in it and there were tons of cds and that made me really happy. I forget most of the other rooms. But the master bedroom was odd. It was at the very top. The third or fourth floor. I couldn't keep track. There were a lot of bedrooms. But it looked old. Huge bed. And tons of windows looking out each directions. And one side down the back at a huge cliff and you could see the wind whipping the show around and could feel it pound the house. Then I couldn't find my friend and someone from the other family said that they saw him leave. And I wondered why and how since we were up in the mountains.
Don't call me boring when I'm just not in the mood. Horrorscope:
Play anything serious and you'll break a bone. Saturn is flipping you off so your bones will be brittle. Also, I don't really like you, (that's an overarching statement. I might like you. Just fucking give me a chance) so you'll have to work hard this week to not feel like a lazy sack of garbage. Sorry. And since I'm wondering about what I want to do with life, you are going to go through a phase where you won't know if what you're doing is what you want to do. Hey, it's only fair.
So there's this new frozen yogurt place in town. It's awesome.
burning up with rage from the cold,
LQ
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My dreams are ever so tempting
I've got a story to write this weekend along with everything else in the world that I have to read. But the story is the big one. I keep throwing ideas around and refuting them. I want to write a "funny" story, but I haven't been able to reproduce that style in a while. It's about as frustrating as finding a house made of candy and food and not being able to eat it because it's your best friend's parent's house and when they see you outside they take you in and tie you up in the oven and realize that your best friend and his family are going to sink their teeth into you after you finish cooking.
Meanwhile on the front lines of the dream world (or should I say the air lines):
So this one has only a couple weird elements. I'm hanging out with some friends and we're drinking and the party is about over. Everyone seems to be settling down and getting tired. The "house" or room is actually in an airplane. Something like a huge commercial jet. 747 or so. I'm lying on one of the couches just relaxing. So then this other plane pulls up next to us. Logically it could be fueling us up. Illogically it could be a delivery plane or just some neighbors. Anyway, here is the weird part. While I'm still on the couch the dream changes point of view. Most of my dreams are in 3rd person, usually the "camera" right behind my head. At least that's how I remember them. So the "camera" takes off from me and shows this girl down at the tail end of the room. She opens the door to the outside. Nothing crazy happens like the air being sucked out. It's just kind of windy. But the plane across from us has its door down too and the "camera" switches again to this other guy in the doorway of the other plane. He is motioning for her to come across. A couple of other people jump across to the other plane. I should say that the planes are maybe ten feet away from each other. And the doors open down so that you walk across them. There's a small jump in the middle between the two doors. So she declines a few times. and she starts shutting the door. It's automatic by the way. And he says something that she doesn't hear so she steps out on the door as it's folding up and gets caught between the door and the plane. She still says that she won't go. The door opens and she gets back in the plane and shuts it again.
That's pretty weird I'd say for my dream to leave boring old me. It's my dream. If my dream camera doesn't stick with me I don't know what will. And I control it (subconsciously, but still). I think what this dream is trying to tell me is to remain more in control when getting drunk. Right. Don't let my consciousness float off to check out something else.
How are you feeling? Ready for the icing on the cake? Horrorscope:
You'll be tied up in bureaucracy all day. Yours and other people/companies/society's. You'll think there's no end. Then there will be an end. And you will want to celebrate. But just then you're in even more bureaucracy. Sucks to be you. It'll make the DMV look like drive thru at a fast food business. It isn't a restaurant. Restaurants sell things that generally won't kill you. Don't get on a boat. Jupiter is doing a cartwheel so the fluids in your ears will be messing up giving you bad balance. You'll end up like the guy in A Wonderful Life. Cold, one eared hearing, and a crazy man that follows you around saying he's an angel and for some reason no one knows who you are anymore.
You can do anything you want, but if other people don't like it they will do whatever they want to you.
my nights are more interesting than my days,
LQ
Meanwhile on the front lines of the dream world (or should I say the air lines):
So this one has only a couple weird elements. I'm hanging out with some friends and we're drinking and the party is about over. Everyone seems to be settling down and getting tired. The "house" or room is actually in an airplane. Something like a huge commercial jet. 747 or so. I'm lying on one of the couches just relaxing. So then this other plane pulls up next to us. Logically it could be fueling us up. Illogically it could be a delivery plane or just some neighbors. Anyway, here is the weird part. While I'm still on the couch the dream changes point of view. Most of my dreams are in 3rd person, usually the "camera" right behind my head. At least that's how I remember them. So the "camera" takes off from me and shows this girl down at the tail end of the room. She opens the door to the outside. Nothing crazy happens like the air being sucked out. It's just kind of windy. But the plane across from us has its door down too and the "camera" switches again to this other guy in the doorway of the other plane. He is motioning for her to come across. A couple of other people jump across to the other plane. I should say that the planes are maybe ten feet away from each other. And the doors open down so that you walk across them. There's a small jump in the middle between the two doors. So she declines a few times. and she starts shutting the door. It's automatic by the way. And he says something that she doesn't hear so she steps out on the door as it's folding up and gets caught between the door and the plane. She still says that she won't go. The door opens and she gets back in the plane and shuts it again.
That's pretty weird I'd say for my dream to leave boring old me. It's my dream. If my dream camera doesn't stick with me I don't know what will. And I control it (subconsciously, but still). I think what this dream is trying to tell me is to remain more in control when getting drunk. Right. Don't let my consciousness float off to check out something else.
How are you feeling? Ready for the icing on the cake? Horrorscope:
You'll be tied up in bureaucracy all day. Yours and other people/companies/society's. You'll think there's no end. Then there will be an end. And you will want to celebrate. But just then you're in even more bureaucracy. Sucks to be you. It'll make the DMV look like drive thru at a fast food business. It isn't a restaurant. Restaurants sell things that generally won't kill you. Don't get on a boat. Jupiter is doing a cartwheel so the fluids in your ears will be messing up giving you bad balance. You'll end up like the guy in A Wonderful Life. Cold, one eared hearing, and a crazy man that follows you around saying he's an angel and for some reason no one knows who you are anymore.
You can do anything you want, but if other people don't like it they will do whatever they want to you.
my nights are more interesting than my days,
LQ
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Dreaming in the evening and changing my sleep pattern
I'm so backwards. I woke up just now at 9ish something. It's dark outside which doesn't help. 9ish pm. But it's morning to me after a short night's (evening's) sleep. With all the work I've had to do lately my sleep schedule looks more like a skinny, uncoordinated, glasses-wearing boy after gym in the locker room of athletic-genius kids. Right. Worse than a semi-dried mud pie with one monster footprint in the center shooting that chunky mess out the sides. I guess.
So my evening dream was really weird. Me and this guy that I know (not sure exactly who it was, the presence was someone I know but the appearance changed) decided to take a ridiculously long walk if it were from and to where I think it is. Way outside of town. But exaggerated. The land was really hilly. Like something you'd see in a child's drawing when they just figure out how to make hills look like they continue forever into the distance. But also with small wooded areas. We were crossing a series of confusing railroad tracks. I say confusing because there were tons of sets of them and some that looked like they went nowhere. We ran into traffic on the road. I don't remember what the traffic looked like and yes it was weird since we were walking but we seemed to take up out own presence on the road. But we had stopped on tracks and I motioned for us to back up. Just in time because we then heard a train whistle. So for some reason when we started backing up we were in an off road vehicle. The "train" came around the corner. And it wasn't a train anymore. It was what looked like a texan on a camel. A lot of them actually. But they were really big. The camels themselves were really tall and their legs rivaled the youngish trees around for width and height. And their mouths were chewing way above our heads. I was terrified of the spit. The guy riding looked like a caricature of a texan from a cartoon. Only really tall and a little stretched with a really tall possibly 50 gallon hat. And when we started going again we were walking once more, but the setting was now an abandoned inner city. And we were there with two other guys with really sophisticated weapons that we got to pick like in a video game. There was some sort of alien presence that we were suppose to take out. Because I would be the best at fighting an alien invasion let alone one single alien. Right. Well I was the last thing between them and the army, which as anyone that's ever watched a movie can tell you that a small group of people are better at killing aliens than the whole military. So I picked a long gun with green lights on it and some red lit one that I knew could shoot automatically. I was suspicious of the leader. And quite like a movie as we were walking down a street, guns went off and dust and debris made seeing anything impossible. The group got taken out one by one leaving only the leader and I. I can't tell quite how this happened, but either he was an alien and started attacking me or we both were and didn't know or care that the other was one too. So the alien thing was a collection of alien-pieces that could form into shapes. He was one. And I started shooting. But he got close and hit me. I got him still. But then the army came rolling down the road and I took off running and when they started shooting I split apart into the pieces and more or less rolled as a collection down the road which I later thought was a little cliché of a collection of alien-pieces to do.
I have a weird mind. One that comes up with odd things or combines others to make bizarre combinations. And with that in the sack I'm guessing you're wanting to know what will happen to you tomorrow, right? Keep your roots in the ground. Horrorscope time.
You'll be sitting a lot lately making your back pain start up again. You'll notice or someone will tell you that you're taking too much medication. You'll also think, what does that mean? Too much? It means that at any given time your stomach is filled with more pills and bad tasting liquids than with actual food. Your liver hates you like your first grade teacher. But hold on because a break in the storm is coming which soon after you'll be able to bury yourself in muted feelings, McDonald's compressed fat (into burger-like shapes), too much work, and stress.
You might wonder just how far will I go? I know few limits.
Freaked out from the idea of outrageously large camels,
LQ
So my evening dream was really weird. Me and this guy that I know (not sure exactly who it was, the presence was someone I know but the appearance changed) decided to take a ridiculously long walk if it were from and to where I think it is. Way outside of town. But exaggerated. The land was really hilly. Like something you'd see in a child's drawing when they just figure out how to make hills look like they continue forever into the distance. But also with small wooded areas. We were crossing a series of confusing railroad tracks. I say confusing because there were tons of sets of them and some that looked like they went nowhere. We ran into traffic on the road. I don't remember what the traffic looked like and yes it was weird since we were walking but we seemed to take up out own presence on the road. But we had stopped on tracks and I motioned for us to back up. Just in time because we then heard a train whistle. So for some reason when we started backing up we were in an off road vehicle. The "train" came around the corner. And it wasn't a train anymore. It was what looked like a texan on a camel. A lot of them actually. But they were really big. The camels themselves were really tall and their legs rivaled the youngish trees around for width and height. And their mouths were chewing way above our heads. I was terrified of the spit. The guy riding looked like a caricature of a texan from a cartoon. Only really tall and a little stretched with a really tall possibly 50 gallon hat. And when we started going again we were walking once more, but the setting was now an abandoned inner city. And we were there with two other guys with really sophisticated weapons that we got to pick like in a video game. There was some sort of alien presence that we were suppose to take out. Because I would be the best at fighting an alien invasion let alone one single alien. Right. Well I was the last thing between them and the army, which as anyone that's ever watched a movie can tell you that a small group of people are better at killing aliens than the whole military. So I picked a long gun with green lights on it and some red lit one that I knew could shoot automatically. I was suspicious of the leader. And quite like a movie as we were walking down a street, guns went off and dust and debris made seeing anything impossible. The group got taken out one by one leaving only the leader and I. I can't tell quite how this happened, but either he was an alien and started attacking me or we both were and didn't know or care that the other was one too. So the alien thing was a collection of alien-pieces that could form into shapes. He was one. And I started shooting. But he got close and hit me. I got him still. But then the army came rolling down the road and I took off running and when they started shooting I split apart into the pieces and more or less rolled as a collection down the road which I later thought was a little cliché of a collection of alien-pieces to do.
I have a weird mind. One that comes up with odd things or combines others to make bizarre combinations. And with that in the sack I'm guessing you're wanting to know what will happen to you tomorrow, right? Keep your roots in the ground. Horrorscope time.
You'll be sitting a lot lately making your back pain start up again. You'll notice or someone will tell you that you're taking too much medication. You'll also think, what does that mean? Too much? It means that at any given time your stomach is filled with more pills and bad tasting liquids than with actual food. Your liver hates you like your first grade teacher. But hold on because a break in the storm is coming which soon after you'll be able to bury yourself in muted feelings, McDonald's compressed fat (into burger-like shapes), too much work, and stress.
You might wonder just how far will I go? I know few limits.
Freaked out from the idea of outrageously large camels,
LQ
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
In the land of the weak and old, any punk can rule
Today I almost ripped an old man in half and broke his face. Well, at least I had the urge. Old Man Idiot thought driving right up behind me would be okay. I looked past it because I was on my way to class. Then after checking the intersection I started to go with Old Man Idiot right on my tail and indeed in my way. I've had just about enough of bad drivers lately. I really wanted to pull him out of his van and show him his car doesn't give him full reign on the road. I settled with yelling at his and shaking my fist. I'd have flipped him off but I had mitten-type gloves.
With that off my fist, I'd like to express my feelings on the melting surface of Hoth outside. It's wonderful. I full well know that cold doesn't exist, that it's the lack of heat or energy. And I'm not sure where I was going with that.
Keep pushing forward no matter the violence. Horrorscope:
You'll begin tired and it won't get better. You'll look forward to the weekend, but there will be hell to go through before those days arrive. Take a lot of risks and chances today. Anything to take your mind off your failing relationship. And drink. Drink like a fish. Life is going to be boring. Doodle during class/meetings. Just don't let your professor/boss see it because you're close to failing/getting fired.
Keep hunting those urban jungles.
Bringing down the house,
LQ
With that off my fist, I'd like to express my feelings on the melting surface of Hoth outside. It's wonderful. I full well know that cold doesn't exist, that it's the lack of heat or energy. And I'm not sure where I was going with that.
Keep pushing forward no matter the violence. Horrorscope:
You'll begin tired and it won't get better. You'll look forward to the weekend, but there will be hell to go through before those days arrive. Take a lot of risks and chances today. Anything to take your mind off your failing relationship. And drink. Drink like a fish. Life is going to be boring. Doodle during class/meetings. Just don't let your professor/boss see it because you're close to failing/getting fired.
Keep hunting those urban jungles.
Bringing down the house,
LQ
Monday, February 22, 2010
Honey, even if you knew what lies beyond that honeymoon
I never like starting another week. It's Monday again. Another Monday doing other Monday things. It's monotonous. Which has part of Monday in it. The worst part. The Mon- part. I usually try to be funny on this and in the least a bit witty, but today just isn't my day. And nothing really has gone wrong yet.
But, oh, it's dream time:
I was back in highschool, only it was everyone that I know now in the school. It wasn't my school either. But I could also run fast and jump high and otherwise be really agile. Which I needed to be, because there were tree people. They had branch-like arms and legs that could move like tentacles and they moved pretty quickly too. If they got a hold of you that would turn you into one of them. So the whole dream I was just being chased by this one tree person who had a hook on one arm, her right I think. The chase would go all through the school and stop when class started. Then start up again afterward. When school finally ended I ran into a large grocery store with really high shelving units and fruit stands. I was jumping all over the place trying to stay away and finally jumped over her onto the largest shelving which stood about 30 or 40 feet. I landed on the side and started to climb up. She was right below me. But the force of the landing started to tip it over and when I landed in a pile of grocery wreckage it was too late to get away. So I did the opposite thing. I grabbed her. And pulled her as close to me as possible. But for some reason she started pushing away from me. I couldn't understand this so I just pulled harder and finally I won and then immediately woke up and thought, "What the hell is going on in my head."
You've foolishly skipped ahead to read it. The prize and your eyes.
You'll wander around aimlessly for part of today. Things will seem normal but something, just one small thing that you can't put your finger on will be different. You'll be pushed around a bit by your boss about something that doesn't really even concern them. It's your project and deadlines they will try to impose will only hinder it. Really it has nothing to do with the company, its for the employees and you aren't even getting paid for it. Don't let them push you around about it. Take it up with them soon or you'll be forced into their vision without any creative say of your own. And somewhere some kids pet will die and the parents will tell them it went to a better place. A foolishly rotten underground sort of place.
For all things good, don't look ahead or to me for that matter.
fur bristled around the neck area,
LQ
But, oh, it's dream time:
I was back in highschool, only it was everyone that I know now in the school. It wasn't my school either. But I could also run fast and jump high and otherwise be really agile. Which I needed to be, because there were tree people. They had branch-like arms and legs that could move like tentacles and they moved pretty quickly too. If they got a hold of you that would turn you into one of them. So the whole dream I was just being chased by this one tree person who had a hook on one arm, her right I think. The chase would go all through the school and stop when class started. Then start up again afterward. When school finally ended I ran into a large grocery store with really high shelving units and fruit stands. I was jumping all over the place trying to stay away and finally jumped over her onto the largest shelving which stood about 30 or 40 feet. I landed on the side and started to climb up. She was right below me. But the force of the landing started to tip it over and when I landed in a pile of grocery wreckage it was too late to get away. So I did the opposite thing. I grabbed her. And pulled her as close to me as possible. But for some reason she started pushing away from me. I couldn't understand this so I just pulled harder and finally I won and then immediately woke up and thought, "What the hell is going on in my head."
You've foolishly skipped ahead to read it. The prize and your eyes.
You'll wander around aimlessly for part of today. Things will seem normal but something, just one small thing that you can't put your finger on will be different. You'll be pushed around a bit by your boss about something that doesn't really even concern them. It's your project and deadlines they will try to impose will only hinder it. Really it has nothing to do with the company, its for the employees and you aren't even getting paid for it. Don't let them push you around about it. Take it up with them soon or you'll be forced into their vision without any creative say of your own. And somewhere some kids pet will die and the parents will tell them it went to a better place. A foolishly rotten underground sort of place.
For all things good, don't look ahead or to me for that matter.
fur bristled around the neck area,
LQ
Sunday, February 21, 2010
We've got to go with what we're feeling
Well the end of winter is finally in sight. However, it's like one of those heat illusions on the road and no matter how fast you drive you can't catch up to it. We'll drag ourselves out of the cold and snow only to find we have frostbite on every extremity.
I'm pissed as hell about cars and how they deal with me on the road. Cyclists must abide all traffic laws that automobile drivers have. I'm not happy about some of those, but I can cooperate. What pisses me off is that in turn cyclists aren't treated well on the roads by the motorists. We obey the same laws. Treat us like another car. But nope. You get cars that turn in front of you, run you off the road, not signal and yell when they can't turn because you went straight and it seemed that they were going straight because they didn't have a turn signal, and just about everything else. Even with a bright flashing light right up in people's faces they choose not to care. Well here's my warning, because I've had enough of it. I will break your face. Just give me the opportunity.
Let's talk briefly about trying to get ahead in academic work. It's impossible. And then a very boring book is assigned and I pass out when I read it. So I'm stuck struggling with my work pulling me down like a new pair of boots from a couple mafia guys / concrete boots / long walk off a short pier. Sink. Drown. Oh sweet spring break save me from this monotony.
So you've waited. And waited. But I still like the phrase: Eyes on the prize. Horrorscope
Life will seem bleak at best, but really that's an understatement. Don't take out a loan today. You'll get screwed over in so many ways. You'll do your worst thinking today about decisions. So make al choices by shooting from the hip. You will want to [re]define your religion today and you won't be able to stop thinking about it. You'll waste hours. And then come to the conclusion that nothing's changed and you shouldn't have done it. Oh and don't fucking wear green. Just don't do it. It'll be too horrible to say if you did. A relationship with someone will end. You need to make up your mind that if you were hungry and starving with no food, would you eat your pet dog. This will be important soon.
I should really spend more time on these things.
kicking ass and taking names,
LQ
I'm pissed as hell about cars and how they deal with me on the road. Cyclists must abide all traffic laws that automobile drivers have. I'm not happy about some of those, but I can cooperate. What pisses me off is that in turn cyclists aren't treated well on the roads by the motorists. We obey the same laws. Treat us like another car. But nope. You get cars that turn in front of you, run you off the road, not signal and yell when they can't turn because you went straight and it seemed that they were going straight because they didn't have a turn signal, and just about everything else. Even with a bright flashing light right up in people's faces they choose not to care. Well here's my warning, because I've had enough of it. I will break your face. Just give me the opportunity.
Let's talk briefly about trying to get ahead in academic work. It's impossible. And then a very boring book is assigned and I pass out when I read it. So I'm stuck struggling with my work pulling me down like a new pair of boots from a couple mafia guys / concrete boots / long walk off a short pier. Sink. Drown. Oh sweet spring break save me from this monotony.
So you've waited. And waited. But I still like the phrase: Eyes on the prize. Horrorscope
Life will seem bleak at best, but really that's an understatement. Don't take out a loan today. You'll get screwed over in so many ways. You'll do your worst thinking today about decisions. So make al choices by shooting from the hip. You will want to [re]define your religion today and you won't be able to stop thinking about it. You'll waste hours. And then come to the conclusion that nothing's changed and you shouldn't have done it. Oh and don't fucking wear green. Just don't do it. It'll be too horrible to say if you did. A relationship with someone will end. You need to make up your mind that if you were hungry and starving with no food, would you eat your pet dog. This will be important soon.
I should really spend more time on these things.
kicking ass and taking names,
LQ
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Meanwhile somewhere outside the city
So I was standing in the sky's waste today and sinking. While it was warm enough to melt a little of the eskimo cocaine, it still was cold enough to bite the feeling right off my face. This is the year spring doesn't come. I completely understand it now. I feel like this every winter in February. But this time is different. The slate gray sky has sat down and sighed just like my father did after dinner in the lazyboy. I'm waiting for the snoring. We thought the snow was bad, but something far worse will shake us all to the core as it drops out of the sky.
In further and slightly less important news I've lost my faith in people... again. A brittle and silly thought that all people are inherently good can only survive so many horrors. Mine shattered like balsa wood. The dark side welcomes me. It always does. It knows that I'll be back. I stew around until I forget all the nasty things that happen and I walk back out into the world with an ignorant view only to be smashed once more by cruelty. What can I say? This world just wasn't built for me.
So eyes on the prize. Here it is: HORRORscope
You'll stumble upon something truly magnificent and brilliant and expensive, but you'll have no idea what it is and throw it away. A building or room you are accustomed to will no longer feel like home. Someone somewhere will die. And you will read this and think: how does he know all this stuff will happen? or this is specific or this really did happen. Nope. Just good guesses and a strong foundation in the norm. Also, you won't feel popular enough. Enough said.
Little aside to myself: no one is reading this.
Living in someone else's world,
LQ
In further and slightly less important news I've lost my faith in people... again. A brittle and silly thought that all people are inherently good can only survive so many horrors. Mine shattered like balsa wood. The dark side welcomes me. It always does. It knows that I'll be back. I stew around until I forget all the nasty things that happen and I walk back out into the world with an ignorant view only to be smashed once more by cruelty. What can I say? This world just wasn't built for me.
So eyes on the prize. Here it is: HORRORscope
You'll stumble upon something truly magnificent and brilliant and expensive, but you'll have no idea what it is and throw it away. A building or room you are accustomed to will no longer feel like home. Someone somewhere will die. And you will read this and think: how does he know all this stuff will happen? or this is specific or this really did happen. Nope. Just good guesses and a strong foundation in the norm. Also, you won't feel popular enough. Enough said.
Little aside to myself: no one is reading this.
Living in someone else's world,
LQ
do you really think I'll pull through?
Night after night of years and years of homework push me to the breaking point. It's the idea really. This incessant idea that as a student you must me constantly busy is bullshit to say the least. I feel that I would be much better at any of the work if I didn't have to do it so much. When it's overwhelming I shut down. And when it's wave after wave I tend to just do okay. I make enough of an effort to get me by because really I can't afford to slay my brain cells on something when just around the corner I'm going to have to do something else, probably a bigger project. I'm conserving my mental energy and keeping myself sane. Well not really.
Job time. Fuck me. I barely have time to prepare to apply for jobs. When I get handed my diploma (the only thing the mountain loads of my money has been going towards) and kicked out of this society I'll either find a job, a place to live, and a new life or I'll crash and burn. Hard.
The part you have all been waiting for. This entry wasn't funny, but I reserve the right to do whatever the hell I choose. Anyways, onto the horrorscope. And I'm feeling especially brutal tonight.
For people born on a Sunday or on the 3rd day of any month: You and all your possessions will come under attack today. You'll grab them and hold them tight because you honestly don't know how else to live. Unfortunately those things were metaphorically on fire and so you'll burn yourself. Fire will be attracted to you today so stay damp. Fairly easy for most people considering the percent of the population that's obese and how much they sweat just doing normal activities. Your lucky position will be horizontal. But you're not getting lucky because how damp you are. Oh and you'll be late for work and you're boss will ride you all day because of it.
Have fun with that one. They will get better I swear/hope.
we'll get it when it shows its ugly head,
LQ
Job time. Fuck me. I barely have time to prepare to apply for jobs. When I get handed my diploma (the only thing the mountain loads of my money has been going towards) and kicked out of this society I'll either find a job, a place to live, and a new life or I'll crash and burn. Hard.
The part you have all been waiting for. This entry wasn't funny, but I reserve the right to do whatever the hell I choose. Anyways, onto the horrorscope. And I'm feeling especially brutal tonight.
For people born on a Sunday or on the 3rd day of any month: You and all your possessions will come under attack today. You'll grab them and hold them tight because you honestly don't know how else to live. Unfortunately those things were metaphorically on fire and so you'll burn yourself. Fire will be attracted to you today so stay damp. Fairly easy for most people considering the percent of the population that's obese and how much they sweat just doing normal activities. Your lucky position will be horizontal. But you're not getting lucky because how damp you are. Oh and you'll be late for work and you're boss will ride you all day because of it.
Have fun with that one. They will get better I swear/hope.
we'll get it when it shows its ugly head,
LQ
Monday, February 15, 2010
I hate blogs. In fact I call them blauuuu(stick tongue out while making the same noise)uugs.
Welcome to your new addictive habit of checking this like you check your email and text messages for class cancelings when it's snowing enough to hide a small child. This is happening. I'm normally much more subtle and humble. But this is part of me telling you your future. So we'll start with a simple horrorscope. That's right. Real horror.
Tomorrow you'll feel tingly in some part of your body telling you that you've neglected it lately. Also, you'll feel inclined to find something to have sex with. Don't take many chances in the next few days because you'll fail them all. You are going to pass up a love opportunity, blissfully unaware the emotional turmoil it would have caused when (not if) it ended. Stop thinking in absolutes. Nothing is forever. Not even that single streak you've slipped into here lately and gained 5, 10, 30 pounds from pounding ice cream gallons and staying up late googling naked celebrities.
Suck it up. Read a good blog (heh heh) and go fuck off outside.
Feeling a little weirded out you staring at me so much,
LQ
Tomorrow you'll feel tingly in some part of your body telling you that you've neglected it lately. Also, you'll feel inclined to find something to have sex with. Don't take many chances in the next few days because you'll fail them all. You are going to pass up a love opportunity, blissfully unaware the emotional turmoil it would have caused when (not if) it ended. Stop thinking in absolutes. Nothing is forever. Not even that single streak you've slipped into here lately and gained 5, 10, 30 pounds from pounding ice cream gallons and staying up late googling naked celebrities.
Suck it up. Read a good blog (heh heh) and go fuck off outside.
Feeling a little weirded out you staring at me so much,
LQ
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