Its got what it takes

I sit here in a hot room drinking a hot drink scantly clad and not just physically. Each morning I wake completely susceptible. I go to bed with my biggest and heaviest armor. Dreaming rips those plates off and digs right into my brain surfacing my most personal fears, doubts, insecurities. It draws them out so they can chase me for hours. Probably what I get for blocking it all up. But I have to build those walls each morning over a solid cup of tea and the internet. Most of the time I don't get breakfast. No time. Some things are more important. My ability to function at a near indestructible level and patience in abundance.

I'll become the monster again. I've been side stepping my duties for a while and its time to get back to business. A restart. Back to the basics. The bitterness is seeping in. The new me is backing into a corner where I'll keep him until I need him. I cannot travel time to change the path I've made. But I can start my brain over. And I'll grow some unbelievably tough skin. And I get hit my cars and get up without a scratch.  I'll have a constant rumbling roar in my chest. Just looking to get out.

This gun's for hire. I'll be searching for something new. I'll be looking for sculls to knock together. My shadow will be reaching. It's about time to be the bad guy again. This city will not know how to contain me.

Fuck the crushing weight of existence. Get ready for The crushing existence of me.

LQ