And if you fail well then you fail but not to us

It's a struggle to survive. We all know that and if you don't then you are going to learn. It's easier if you just confront the fact that things will be hard. Putting up a fight on two fronts is too much work. Focus all that energy into what you want to do and who you want to be. We're all going down in flames.

I can see the hours tick away like steady bass drum beats. I keep an eye on it so I know when I need to feed. I could be consumed by my bed, collecting sores on my elbows from all the reading I've been doing. Books worth of reading. Coming to the end of this part of my life I get more serious. It only makes sense because I started it careless. I'm getting down to brass tacks and I'm seeing just how useful all this time is being spent. Don't believe anyone, especially your parents, when they tell you that academics is the most important thing. The law of proportions is the greatest thing. There are no absolutes. You have to weigh your academic life with your social life with your spiritual life. Bad exam? Let it roll off your fucking shoulder. There are more important things than worrying what went wrong.

If I've learned anything, it's that things will work out. There is a path that you will take that passes through a place the size of the eye of a needle and there is no way you can see that path from anywhere but in it. Like navigating trails in the woods at night with no light. You will most likely make it back to your car if you don't freak out. Just take your time and your feet will find the way. The path become visible a foot or so from where you stand.

Now you've waded through my philosophical shit storm. Here's your reward. Horrorscope:

What is blasted red with blue streaks and black prickly pores? You after the accident you're going to have today. Insert deep throated gurgle of a laugh. Pick up your bag for the day and dump as much confidence in it because if you don't make the day yours, you'll be trotted over for the rest of your life. Think long and hard (long... hard...) about what you really want to do. Now that you have that in your mind, forget being able to do it because you won't. Fate takes one thing in allowing you to escape its gnarly claws and that is the thing you want most in the world. Suck it society. Fate wins again.

And if you see an owl every night, don't get hypnotized. If you don't believe me watch The Fourth Kind.

Wondering how the hell you just got through that mess,
LQ